Swimming Against The Current

Sleeping at night is getting harder and harder. When I close my eyes all I can picture is getting my head cut open and all I can hear is the drilling. When I look in the mirror all I can think of is in a month all this hair will be gone. When I look at Hailey I just want to cry because taking care of her is going to be so difficult. But then I think about how difficult it is now to pick her up, and how much support and family I have that will help me take care of her. And in the long run, when I can hug Hailey with two hands, this will all be worth it. It is so scary, but I am doing this for her, and I will get through it. The first surgery is scheduled for April 25th. I am heading to MA April 11 to prepare. I am having an evaluation on the 12th, pre-testing on the 13th and a MRI under anesthesia on the 14th. On the 15th my sister is having a 31 gifts party for me so I can maybe get some scarves to wear on my head. My family is so wonderful, I love them soo much and I dont kn...

It looks like I will probably be having the surgery. I am waiting for Ryan to hear back about doing a rotation in MA so he can be there with me. I have a pre-op evaluation scheduled for the end of April and I'm waiting to hear back about a surgery date. I am very nervous but think this is the best thing to do right now, and I am hoping for a fast recovery and to be feeling much better very soon. Kristy, Gary and the kids came to visit these last couple days and we had so much fun! We hung out by the pool a lot and went to the Red Sox/Yankees game last night! It was a lot of fun and our kids were a big hit and were taped twice! Hailey has been doing very well. She is almost 6 months old already! I can't believe how time flies. She loved having Zach and Libby here, so much that she's been sleeping for 4 hours because she wouldn't sleep when they were here!

Last week I went to MA for an appointment with my neurologist and with a neurosurgeon. My neurologist explained to me that DBS was my only option. We've tried so many medications and botox so many times and my symptoms never improved. Since Hailey was born, things have gotten worse and there is a lot of hope for me with this surgery. I met with the neurosurgeon the next day who agreed with the DBS. She explained the surgery to me. I will have to be there at 6:30 am and the whole thing should be done by 1:30. I will need a frame put around my head and an MRI and CT scan. They will also need to shave my whole head. I will be put under anesthesia while they cut my head open but once its all set I will be awake when they put the electrodes in. I will need to spend 1-2 nights in the hospital and cannot lift anything for 2 weeks. One week after this surgery I will need to go back in to have the pacemaker put in. The wires from my brain will connect to the pacemaker and a few w...