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A little miracle

I knew when this happened to me that it wasn't going to be an easy thing to fix. I remember sitting in the physical therapists' office and she kept telling me my shoulder was dislocated and I had to go to the ER. After several trips to the ER because of this, I didn't feel like doing it anymore. This time though, it seemed a bit more serious. I couldn't feel my ring finger or my pinky finger. They were slowly curling into the palm of my hand and I had no idea what was happening to me. At the time, I never imagined I would lose use of that hand completely....but I did. It makes me sick to think back on it and remember that no one knew what was happening. They thought it was from my shoulder. The orthopedic doctor I was supposed to see at Leominster Hospital had to leave because he was adopting twins the next day so I ended up seeing someone else. No one there knew what to do with me. It was like I had some bizarre disease that no one had ever seen but they couldn't put a name with it. They told me I had to go back to Boston and see the shoulder surgeon. I cringed at the thought of that but made the appointment anyway.
Of course he was a jerk when we got there, what would ever make me think otherwise? He insisted it was in my head. As days passed, my fingers got stiffer and eventually every finger on my left hand was curled into a fist and I could only use my thumb. A year later, my wrist curled in. If it wasn't for the neurologist in Worcester, I would have never had an answer. He is by far the most wonderful doctor I have ever met. Not only is he my hero, but he is a very nice man, very personable and very determined to help me.
Back when this happened, I was weak and scared. I was a young girl that just wanted to have a normal life and eventually have children. When I lost use of my hand I never thought I'd be abl to take care of a baby. I went on with my life trying different medications, botox injections and therapy but nothing seemed to work. After having my baby girl, I became stronger and decided to go through with DBS and I am so glad I did. Just three and a half weeks after my first surgery and just two weeks after being "turned on", I opened my hand. With the help of my family and friends, the determination and hard work of my doctor, and the love and sweet smile on my little girl, I made it through the biggest, scariest times in my life. I couldn't have done this alone but because I did fight through it, I am so much stronger and I believe now I can accomplish anything. I have no hair and too many scars but I can now say, with the biggest smile on my face, that I can hold my precious Hailey's hand and teach her anything she needs me to with nothing holding me back.

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