Have you ever sat in a waiting room while your child is in surgery? Staring at the clock, looking at your phone, trying to read a magazine but your not comprehending anything your reading. By 10:00 you've had 3 coffees and barely any food because your child couldn't eat, so why would you. Hours pass and you pace the hallways, stare at the other families as the doctors come get them and tell them their child is ok. The longest days of my life are the days my child goes in for surgery. The minutes pass like hours and the anxiety within me is unbearable.
Just thinking about another one of these days scares me. It's not about me. It's about my poor little Cody. He doesn't know what's going on, but yet he does. He's starting to realize what surgery means and he is starting to ask every family member if they will visit him.
The minutes after the surgery is over is the scariest. It's always the same. They come get me and tell me he's fine and sleeping it off. I walk into the recovery room shaking in fear and my poor baby lies there sleeping and gasping. His breathing is never good and I'll never understand why they tell me he's fine. Over time, as he starts to wake up and cough and choke and his oxygen goes down slightly and I hear that squeaky stridor breathing then they start to worry. But they never listen when I tell them this happens EVERY SINGLE TIME. Now that he is 4 and this will be his 12th surgery, I think maybe they will listen when I tell them to watch for his breathing issues and he will not be going home that day.
So I have a week and a half to pull it together for my boy. A week and a half to stand strong and believe that everything will be ok. A week and a half to mentally prepare myself to stare at those white walls for hours praying for this to go well and to help him talk and eat. A week and a half to think about how brave Cody's always been and to become just as brave myself.
Cody is the strongest boy I'll ever know. What he's gone through in 4 years is more then most people go through their entire life. Every single day, though, Cody wakes up with a smile. Every thing he says he does so in his silly jokingly way. Everyone he meets, he makes them laugh. He works so incredibly hard to succeed in everything. He is amazingly smart and although his speech is delayed, he pushes himself so hard to say anything and everything he wants to say. No matter how many times we go to the hospital, he doesn't let it bring him down. He loves the doctors and nurses and makes the best out of every day. I am so proud of the boy that he is. He has taught me about strength and courage and how to be brave. He has taught me to enjoy every moment of every day and always try to make people smile. He has taught me that no matter what you go through in life, you can still succeed and be happy. He has taught me about love and laughter and most importantly how to live each day to the fullest and not take anything for granted.
Just thinking about another one of these days scares me. It's not about me. It's about my poor little Cody. He doesn't know what's going on, but yet he does. He's starting to realize what surgery means and he is starting to ask every family member if they will visit him.
The minutes after the surgery is over is the scariest. It's always the same. They come get me and tell me he's fine and sleeping it off. I walk into the recovery room shaking in fear and my poor baby lies there sleeping and gasping. His breathing is never good and I'll never understand why they tell me he's fine. Over time, as he starts to wake up and cough and choke and his oxygen goes down slightly and I hear that squeaky stridor breathing then they start to worry. But they never listen when I tell them this happens EVERY SINGLE TIME. Now that he is 4 and this will be his 12th surgery, I think maybe they will listen when I tell them to watch for his breathing issues and he will not be going home that day.
So I have a week and a half to pull it together for my boy. A week and a half to stand strong and believe that everything will be ok. A week and a half to mentally prepare myself to stare at those white walls for hours praying for this to go well and to help him talk and eat. A week and a half to think about how brave Cody's always been and to become just as brave myself.
Cody is the strongest boy I'll ever know. What he's gone through in 4 years is more then most people go through their entire life. Every single day, though, Cody wakes up with a smile. Every thing he says he does so in his silly jokingly way. Everyone he meets, he makes them laugh. He works so incredibly hard to succeed in everything. He is amazingly smart and although his speech is delayed, he pushes himself so hard to say anything and everything he wants to say. No matter how many times we go to the hospital, he doesn't let it bring him down. He loves the doctors and nurses and makes the best out of every day. I am so proud of the boy that he is. He has taught me about strength and courage and how to be brave. He has taught me to enjoy every moment of every day and always try to make people smile. He has taught me that no matter what you go through in life, you can still succeed and be happy. He has taught me about love and laughter and most importantly how to live each day to the fullest and not take anything for granted.
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