So on Tuesday I got the e-mail that said my surgery will not be November 17th. Since then I have been getting e-mails from the administrative assistant saying it still could be, and I started to have hope again. The other date they gave me was December 8th. This morning I got an e-mail from the doctor herself saying it will be December 22nd or the 30th. I chose the 30th because of Christmas. So it looks like I will be waiting another month and a half. The stress of all of this is making everything worse. I get neck spasms several times a day. Every time this happens its very hard to breath, talk and eat. Its so scary!!
I wake up in the morning, get my kids ready for school, make my husband and I a cup of coffee and take three small pills. When you look at them you’d never imagine what they could do to your body but right from the beginning I was willing to do it. No matter what it took, I would do it. Little did I know, these pills would just be another part of the sadness. I continue on my day, limiting caffeine, watching what I eat and gaining a pound a minute. Before bed, Jim injects more medication into my buttocks. These medications are supposed to be getting my body ready to have a baby but for some reason this small thing that I want so badly is so hard to achieve. Since the day I met Jim, we’ve wanted a baby. We’ve picked out names, first outfits, and ways we want to tell our parents the news. It’s been 4 years since we agreed we wanted to start trying and we still don’t have it. Just before Covid hit, we decided to see a fertility specialist to help us achieve pregnancy. We tracked my cyc...
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