Swimming Against The Current

Just to update everyone, Ryan and I are moving the rest of our stuff into our new condo today. I haven't had time to write in a while and won't have interenet right away but I will be back, so don't stop following! :)

Yesterday I went to my doctor to have an ultrasound and check the baby. She is doing wonderful and I got a 3D ultrasound so I could see her little face and button nose. My doctor wanted me to see an infectious disease doctor because my hand is becoming raw. I went there today, which ended up being a waste of time. She told me I need to see a neurologist ASAP! Well.. no kidding. I've been trying to see a neurologist since last May. I found a neurologist here in Florida that takes my insurance and had an appointment and everything... too good to be true. They changed their mind and decided they didn't feel like dealing with a high risk pregnancy, so they won't see me. I guess I'll just wait until my whole body is a spasm.. then I'll worry about it.

When the pain came back in my shoulder after the cortizone shot, I called my doctor right away (well, my mom called). He said I would have to get another shot and it would probably help for another six weeks. I didn't like the sounds of this but I did like being pain free. I went through the pain once again, having the needle go in and poke my shoulder. I had the same reaction as I did the first time, the pain was worse then better. I went back to cheerleading and this routine became a vicious cycle. I couldn't take it anymore. After so much pain and frustration, we went back to the doctor determined to find an answer. He ran more tests, including a bone scan, and never found an answer. Even though I never knew they were testing me for bone cancer, my parents did and were very worried. This was getting ridiculous. By this time I was going into high school. My dream was to cheer on the high school cheerleading squad and at this rate it wasn't going to happen. The

The thought of losing my hand never crossed my mind until my neurologist said I could lose it about six times in one visit. My fingers have been stuck in a fist for nearly two years and Ive had small blisters under the fingers but nothing like I have now. The weather is getting warmer and I think my skin is more sensitive because I am pregnant. I now have blisters in the whole inside of my hand and its very very painful. I have been trying very hard to keep gauze on it at all times to keep it dry but its not getting better. The problem is I have only lived in Florida for a year and my neurologist is in Massachusetts. He no longer takes my insurance, and neither does anyone here. I want to hold my baby girl with both my hands, I want to hold her hand as she crosses the street, I want to braid her hair, change her diaper and teach her how to cheer. I do not want to lose my hand, and I won't. I'm working on finding a way to make it better...

So I was 12 years old and was just told I couldn't cheer for a while... how devastating. I cried that night, not because I was in pain but because I thought my dreams were shattered. I showed up at practice the next day with a sling on and told everyone I couldn't compete. As time went by and I followed the doctors instructions, I noticed my shoulder didn't heal. I was in just as much pain six weeks later as I was to begin with. I had a follow up with my doctor and he told me he made a mistake. My shoulder was never broken. As happy as I was, I was a little confused and scared at what it was if it wasn't that. After x-rays, MRI's, and CT scans they decided it was tendonitis. I was told to take it easy and come back for a cortizone shot, which should help some of the pain. I remember laying on the table with tears pouring down my cheeks as he inserted a needle into my shoulder. I felt it hit the bone and move all around it. It was very very painful. The p

Today I had a little scare. I was at work and decided to "jump" to get something out of reach. I realized as soon as I did it and as soon as my boss yelled "you can't jump like that", that I was making a mistake. I felt my stomach muscles stretch and pull. Its been achy since but I think Hailey and I will be just fine, just a little stretch of the muscles. I guess I didn't do enough situps before I got pregnant to get me used to this! By the way, I work at a childcare center. I work in the infant room with babies 3 months to 1 year. I love the children and its definately giving me some practice but some days are difficult. Its very hard to lift the older children with my shoulders the way they are and with a belly growing more and more each day. I just hope I can lift my own baby girl. More on how this all began tomorrow! :) Goodnight!

Hi again! I'm going to tell you a little bit about how this all started. I have always loved cheerleading. When I was younger I used to go to my sister's cheerleading competitions and wish I was out on the floor with her. I would throw my hands in the air and pretend I knew what I was doing, just imitating her. When I was old enough to learn, she taught me all the cheers she knew. I would practice all the time and when I was eight I got to actually be on my own team. It was the greatest feeling in the world! My sister also taught me how to tumble, stunt and dance! It was so much fun! That year I got to cheer at my first football game with my own uniform on. I got to go to my first cheerleading competition and actually compete. I made a lot of new friends and couldn't have been happier if I tried! I continued to cheer each year after that. In 1998, I was 12 years old, my shoulder started to ache. Practices got harder for me since there was so much repetition. I

Well, hello there and welcome to my blog. These last couple months have been stressful, exciting, painful, happy and scary. I'm working on keeping these feelings positive! A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with Dystonia. My left hand has curled into a fist and I can no longer use my fingers. My wrist is permanantly stuck in a spasm and I now wear a brace 24/7. I get daily spasms in my feet and sometimes its hard to walk because I don't know when it is going to happen. I have muscle spasms in my back quite often and occassionally in my neck and jaw. On top of the dystonia, I have multi-directional instability in both of my shoulders, causing them to dislocate very frequently. In February, 2010 I took a home pregnancy test and it was positive! It was the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Although my boyfriend and I were a little nervous, we smiled and started to plan our life together with our baby that was on the way. Since then, I haven't been able