The last few days have been the worst days I've had in a long time. I was very hopeful and positive that I was getting better until this whole infection. I had an MRI on Monday and they couldn't finish it because my head felt weird when they turned in on so I ended up having another CT scan. The CT scan showed that the infection had spread and the whole device had to come out. Tuesday morning, they took it out. I am devastated. My hand is already curled in and my feet have already been acting up on me. I just don't know what to do, I am back at square one and just want to go back to FL with Ryan. I was so looking forward to going back there and being better. When the infection is gone I am going back there and when we move back I will have the DBS put back in. There is only one problem. My surgeon is moving and will be working in NY so I will have to go there to have it put back in and I'm not sure if my insurance will work there. I am so upset but hopefully in the near future things will get better.
I wake up in the morning, get my kids ready for school, make my husband and I a cup of coffee and take three small pills. When you look at them you’d never imagine what they could do to your body but right from the beginning I was willing to do it. No matter what it took, I would do it. Little did I know, these pills would just be another part of the sadness. I continue on my day, limiting caffeine, watching what I eat and gaining a pound a minute. Before bed, Jim injects more medication into my buttocks. These medications are supposed to be getting my body ready to have a baby but for some reason this small thing that I want so badly is so hard to achieve. Since the day I met Jim, we’ve wanted a baby. We’ve picked out names, first outfits, and ways we want to tell our parents the news. It’s been 4 years since we agreed we wanted to start trying and we still don’t have it. Just before Covid hit, we decided to see a fertility specialist to help us achieve pregnancy. We tracked my cyc
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