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Look for the good in every day

Look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.

Recently, my days have been hard and painful and its hard to stay positive but I have been trying very hard to find the good in every situation, even when it feels impossible.  Back in October, when my dystonia symptoms started to flare up, I got discouraged but I had hope that things would get better.  When the tingling in my head started and I had to shut my DBS off, I got scared and lost most of my positive attitude.  When I had surgery in March, the tingling went away and once again I had hope.  Unfortunately, that surgery didn't work and I was right back where I started, but without that feeling in my head.

I tried to stay positive over the months, I called my doctor daily and I researched answers and treatments.  Slowly I began to get discouraged again.  I got tired of being in pain and tired of spending every day all day on the phone and realized I wasn't enjoying my life and I wasn't spending enough time with my family.  

A couple months ago, I reached out to the DMRF and was recommended a surgeon at Beth Israel in Boston.  I quickly got on the phone to have my records sent and make an appointment.  The moment I met this doctor, I knew he could help me.  That day, after leaving his office I had the biggest smile on my face I had had in months.  I felt like he listened to everything I said and I could tell by his confidence that this would be the doctor who helped me.

Two weeks later, last Tuesday I went in for another surgery.  the nurses were amazing and the doctor was incredible.  He came and saw me in the recovery room to tell me that the extension he replaced was not the problem.  Instead of being upset, though, I still feel positive and well taken care of by this doctor.  I give him a lot of credit for telling me flat out that it didn't work.  He is now working on getting me in with his neurologist asap to work on changing my settings.  If that doesn't work, my DBS may eventually have to be replaced and to be honest I wouldn't mind shaving my head right now (haha).

So, here I am, still unable to open either hand, I have a bandage stapled to my head and a stiff neck, but I am smiling and enjoying my last summer days with my kids before they go back to school.  I have realized that sitting around complaining and pouting about my problems will get me nowhere.  Thank you to Jim for showing me how to be positive and being by my side every step of the way and helping me see the beauty in life.  And thank you to my parents for all they've done to help me over the years, and to my beautiful children for keeping a smile on my face each and every day.  

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