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Hopeful but scared

 What do you do when you have so many dreams, so much motivation for a healthy life, so many goals and every day there’s something stopping you from succeeding? I’m not too lazy, too tired, or unmotivated… my body won’t let me move. The last couple days have been excruciating. 

As most of you know, my dystonia mainly affects my left side. My left hand and my left foot have always been the worst so when they act up, I’m not usually surprised or worried. This is different. My back is so bad, there is no position I’m comfortable in so I have to keep moving. When I sit, it feels like my back is crushing the top of my butt. My whole right leg throbs, the top of my foot aches and my right hand goes in and out of a fist. Mg right arm feels so weak it’s hard to lift anything. My abdominal muscles hurt and I can never tell if it’s anxiety, hunger, dystonia, or nausea because it sort of feels like all of that combined. For the most part, I can deal with the pain but I can’t deal with not being able to do every day things. I felt so good working out and when I miss days of walking, I just don’t feel as good. I don’t know why this is happening but I hope it’s temporary and I hope my DBS starts working soon. I am ready for a fun, healthy and active summer! 

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