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Choose to have a good day

 Every day, you have a new opportunity to change. It’s a new day and it’s up to you to decide if you’re going to be happy or not, if you’re going to work hard and push for something or if you’re going to sit back and feel sorry for yourself. We all experience both of these things at one time or another.  Some days i wake up motivated and ready to take on anything that’s thrown at me. Some days I walk ten miles, I drink a lot of water, I’m happy and I don’t let little things bother me. Other days I wake up 18 times over night with a throbbing hand and then finally drag myself out of bed and think of every excuse not to work hard that day. Every little thing frustrates me, I drink coffee and monster energy drinks all day hoping at some point I snap out it, but most times I end up crying, dealing with the bad day and eventually going to bed hoping for the next day to be better.


Dystonia is obviously a big part of my life and most of the time when I’m not feeling great it’s because of the dystonia. But I’m more than that. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I try my hardest to be good at these roles and not let dystonia define me. 


The problems I’ve had lately with my hand are a result of dystonia but it’s not the Dystonia that’s affecting it now. I believe I have some nerve damage and I think it’s safe to say I’ll never use my hand again. I try not to let it bother me but every day I’m reminded of this problem. I go to put the dishes away and drop a plate. I go to do my daughters hair and my fingers don’t move. I go to the drive thru at Dunkin’ Donuts and drop my coffee all over me and my car because My fingers lock. Sure, I’ve learned over the years some tricks to use my other hand and most of the time i do ok. But, some days I just want my hand to work. I just want the pain to go away. Sometimes I want to scream and just tell someone that IT SUCKS.


I realize most people in my life are sick of hearing about it so I try to hold back with my complaining. But this is my blog so I’m going to complain and if you don’t want to read it.. you don’t have to! 😊


I don’t know what the next step is. A new doctor? Medication? Physical therapy? More surgery? Nothing? I honestly don’t know what to do. But I’m working on it. And while I work on it.. I’m also still working on getting to 500 miles, I’m working on a nutrition degree and losing 25 more pounds. I know it will be hard but I also know that I’m capable of doing it, and so I will! 


So, today I’m choosing to have a good day, I’m choosing happiness and I’m choosing motivation and success. 

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