A new year

 

2021 came to an end very quickly filled with a lot of pressure and stress. I quietly prayed that 2022 would start off better and be “my year” filled with good luck, good health and less stress. I know that on January first people have this thinking that life is just magically going to change because it’s a new year. I know it’s an imaginary line that doesn’t really have anything different about it as far as life changes as any other month. But I still always think it. 

January started with my dystonia pretty bad, my finger infected and both my doctors on vacation. Then my cat started having a seizure. 

A few days into the month, my daughter tested positive for Covid. Thankfully her symptoms were mild but her and her brother were told to quarantine for 10 days. So, we were stuck in the house playing cards, building legos, eating snacks and working on homework. It got old fast. It seemed like nothing was going right. 

Then my husband started getting sick. Every day was worse and new symptoms kept popping up.  He took 3 at home Covid tests that were all negative but we were still worried. As time went on and his symptoms got worse, I started to really panic. He was getting so sick I couldn’t have a conversation with him. I begged and begged him to go to the hospital and finally on Sunday he did. He was diagnosed with severe pneumonia in both lungs. These have been the scariest days I’ve ever experienced in my life and I can’t imagine what it’s like for him. Watching him get so winded is so heart breaking and leaving him just to go to the store is the hardest thing in the world to do.  He’s now taking antibiotics and resting a lot. He seems to be getting a tiny bit better each day so hopefully with time, he’s back to himself very soon.

Although the days have been tough, and I’ve cried more in the last month than I have in my life, I have also learned a lot. 

I have realized that the love I feel towards this man is something I can’t put into words. It’s a kind of love I’ve never experienced and one I searched for my whole life. I’ve learned over these last couple weeks that the little things people get mad about aren’t really a big deal. The most important things in life are good health, family and love. Everything else comes second. Jim has changed my whole life, how I see things, how I feel about other people and mostly how I feel about myself. He has supported me in many ways, taken care of me and pushed me to do anything and everything that makes me happy. He always tells me, if it doesn’t make me happy it’s not worth it. It is my time now to take care of him and treat him the way he’s always treated me since the day I met him.  

“Love isn’t always perfect. It isn’t a fairytale or storybook. And it doesn’t always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define and impossible to live without. Love is work, but most of all, love is realizing that that every hour, every minute, and every second was worth it because you did it together.”