Skip to main content

A new year

 


2021 came to an end very quickly filled with a lot of pressure and stress. I quietly prayed that 2022 would start off better and be “my year” filled with good luck, good health and less stress. I know that on January first people have this thinking that life is just magically going to change because it’s a new year. I know it’s an imaginary line that doesn’t really have anything different about it as far as life changes as any other month. But I still always think it. 

January started with my dystonia pretty bad, my finger infected and both my doctors on vacation. Then my cat started having a seizure. 

A few days into the month, my daughter tested positive for Covid. Thankfully her symptoms were mild but her and her brother were told to quarantine for 10 days. So, we were stuck in the house playing cards, building legos, eating snacks and working on homework. It got old fast. It seemed like nothing was going right. 

Then my husband started getting sick. Every day was worse and new symptoms kept popping up.  He took 3 at home Covid tests that were all negative but we were still worried. As time went on and his symptoms got worse, I started to really panic. He was getting so sick I couldn’t have a conversation with him. I begged and begged him to go to the hospital and finally on Sunday he did. He was diagnosed with severe pneumonia in both lungs. These have been the scariest days I’ve ever experienced in my life and I can’t imagine what it’s like for him. Watching him get so winded is so heart breaking and leaving him just to go to the store is the hardest thing in the world to do.  He’s now taking antibiotics and resting a lot. He seems to be getting a tiny bit better each day so hopefully with time, he’s back to himself very soon.

Although the days have been tough, and I’ve cried more in the last month than I have in my life, I have also learned a lot. 

I have realized that the love I feel towards this man is something I can’t put into words. It’s a kind of love I’ve never experienced and one I searched for my whole life. I’ve learned over these last couple weeks that the little things people get mad about aren’t really a big deal. The most important things in life are good health, family and love. Everything else comes second. Jim has changed my whole life, how I see things, how I feel about other people and mostly how I feel about myself. He has supported me in many ways, taken care of me and pushed me to do anything and everything that makes me happy. He always tells me, if it doesn’t make me happy it’s not worth it. It is my time now to take care of him and treat him the way he’s always treated me since the day I met him.  


“Love isn’t always perfect. It isn’t a fairytale or storybook. And it doesn’t always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define and impossible to live without. Love is work, but most of all, love is realizing that that every hour, every minute, and every second was worth it because you did it together.” 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When Pineapple socks aren’t enough

I wake up in the morning, get my kids ready for school, make my husband and I a cup of coffee and take three small pills. When you look at them you’d never imagine what they could do to your body but right from the beginning I was willing to do it. No matter what it took, I would do it. Little did I know, these pills would just be another part of the sadness. I continue on my day, limiting caffeine, watching what I eat and gaining a pound a minute. Before bed, Jim injects more medication into my buttocks. These medications are supposed to be getting my body ready to have a baby but for some reason this small thing that I want so badly is so hard to achieve. Since the day I met Jim, we’ve wanted a baby. We’ve picked out names, first outfits, and ways we want to tell our parents the news. It’s been 4 years since we agreed we wanted to start trying and we still don’t have it. Just before Covid hit, we decided to see a fertility specialist to help us achieve pregnancy. We tracked my cyc

update on Dystonia and Family

I have been doing as well as could be expected.  I am back in Florida so it's nice to be with Ryan.  Although I am still upset about the whole thing, I am trying hard to smile and not let it show.  The spasms have returned and have gotten worse since the DBS was removed.  When I suck on a piece of candy or ice, my throat tightens up.  It's very scary but Im hoping it won't get any worse.  My neck also twitches sometimes and my foot spasms have come back.  My hand is curled in but if I think about it, I can straighten my wrist (not my fingers).  The most upsetting part is that I was just looking at pictures of myself the day after DBS and I had a huge smile on my face because I had made it through and then a couple weeks later there was a picture of my hand open.  I had never been so excited as I was that day.  I had so much in my head that I wanted to do now that I could use my hand and most of it involved Hailey.  Hailey helped me get through the surgery and I was getting

Pregnant With Dystonia

Well, hello there and welcome to my blog. These last couple months have been stressful, exciting, painful, happy and scary. I'm working on keeping these feelings positive! A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with Dystonia. My left hand has curled into a fist and I can no longer use my fingers. My wrist is permanantly stuck in a spasm and I now wear a brace 24/7. I get daily spasms in my feet and sometimes its hard to walk because I don't know when it is going to happen. I have muscle spasms in my back quite often and occassionally in my neck and jaw. On top of the dystonia, I have multi-directional instability in both of my shoulders, causing them to dislocate very frequently. In February, 2010 I took a home pregnancy test and it was positive! It was the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Although my boyfriend and I were a little nervous, we smiled and started to plan our life together with our baby that was on the way. Since then, I haven't been able