Swimming Against The Current

On the morning of February 3rd, I had a little cramping but nothing worse then I had been having.  I decided to go grocery shopping and get some things to eat during the superbowl.  While I was at market basket I started having contractions that I couldnt walk or talk through.  I had a few that were three minutes apart but they didnt seem that regular.   I text Ryan and said "today is the day" kind of joking around.  I finished shopping and headed home.  When I got home, I made buffalo chicken dip and sat down with Ryan and had some.  I didnt have a change in appetite or anything so I didnt really think I was in labor.  I started having more painful contractions that hurt more in my sides and back which made me think something might be starting.  The contractions I had before were just in my lower abdomen.  I started timing the contractions and they were about 8 minutes apart and before long I was on my hands and knees in pain....

These last few weeks have been the longest weeks of my entire life.  Ive never wanted anything more then to have this baby.  I know I am not due until Tuesday but I have been having braxton hicks contractions forever and they are starting to become painful.  My foot is really sore due to the extra weight on it when I walk.  My  belly is so big its so hard to bend over and clean and to stand for long periods to cook and to take care of Hailey.  Last Wednesday was my last day of work because I expected to go into labor this week.  It never happened and I ended up just sitting around waiting.  I tried going out a few times with Hailey to the mall and stuff to pass the time and to walk to try to get things moving but all it does it make me tired and Hailey cranky.  At my 37 week appointment I wasnt dilated at all, at 38 weeks I was 1 cm 50% effaced and yesterday at my 39 week appointment I was still only 1 cm 50% effaced.  The doctor said he...

2012 brought me so many great things.  The biggest thing was my hand.  At the beginning of 2012, I opened my hand and it has pretty much been open since.  Some days I have tightness but after stretching it and working with it, the tendons are no longer shortened and I can use my hand like I could 4 years ago.  Its a great relief, especially with the baby coming.  My mom reminded me the other day how difficult it was to give Hailey a bath with one hand and with that wrist brace on.  This time it will be so much easier.  I had a hard time but I was so used to not having my hand that it was just normal for me.  My foot is still giving me a lot of problems.  Most days its pretty painful, especially if Im walking a lot or standing for long periods.  I try not to talk about it a lot or complain because there is nothing that can be done.   I am due 5 weeks from tomorrow so hopefully once Cody is born, I can have my settings changed a...

Well my baby is growing quickly, which means so is my belly.  This pregnancy, surprisingly, is going by a lot faster then I had anticipated.  Its much different then my first pregnancy, which I heard is usually true with your second child. When I was pregnant with Hailey, I got pretty big but I dont remember to be so big, so fast!  I had morning sickness with Hailey for about 13 weeks.  I have not been sick at all this time.  Also, with Hailey I rested whenever I wanted.   This pregnancy, there is no such thing as rest!  Hailey has me up and moving at all times of the day (and night)!  Sometimes I really need a good nights sleep and she just doesnt like to go to bed!  I have realized so much from being a mother in just two short years.  There were so many things I wanted to do as a mother before I had Hailey, and its just so much easier said then done!  I wanted to have the "perfect" child, who was off her bottle at one ...

 My foot has now been curled in for nearly a month.  My physical therapist cant really get it straight.  My ob sends me to my neurologist, who sends me to PT, who sends me back to the neurologist.  Im not sure if no one knows what to do or if no one wants to deal with it because Im pregnant.  My neurologist has told me that the only real option is to admit me to the hospital for a few days and try changing the DBS settings.  I would have to be in the hospital so thet could monitor me and make sure the baby was okay.  The biggest risk is that the dystonia could move into my abdominal muscles.  The chances of this happening seems slim to me since Ive never really had symptoms there before but I dont know.  The risks are very unclear because there hasn't been enough people in this situation.  I would think if the symptoms moved into my abdomen, we could change the settings back to where they are now.  I am not sure what to do because m...

The question I most often ask myself is if I would rather have no use of my hand or my foot.  Now that my left foot has been curled in for four days, I have realized how much easier it is to have no hand.       Although when my hand was curled in, I was uncomfortable and aggrivated.  I hated not being able to do my hair, cut my food, do my daughters hair, get her dressed, change her diaper.  It was all a struggle but after three and a half years I learned to adapt and learned to do all of these things with one hand and one curled in hand.  That was my normal and when I got my hand back, it was great but it was also weird.  I basically had to re learn how to do everything.  My fingers still ache and its still hard to do things but im getting back into the swing of having two hands and it feels great.      I felt very positive about the DBS, it changed my life.  I am so grateful for my doctors and so ha...

Its been a while since I wrote here.  I have had a lot going on lately and miss Hailey is almost two so she requires a lot of attention!  She is just hilarious.  She has been talking more and more each day.  She sings all the time and dances.  Her favories song is pontoon by little big town and cries to listen to it in the car.  She absolutely loves dora and anything and everything that's dora related.  She also likes to get her way.  If she doesnt get her way, you can bet there will be a little tantrum going on.  She is at such a fun age and I love every minute of it.  Last Saturday, Ryan and I got married.  We had a small ceremony in his parents back yard mainly for insurance reasons and we will have our big wedding next June.  We wanted to have a nice wedding with all of our family and friends, a white dress, bridesmaids and groomsmen and all of that but we just couldnt get it all together for this year, it was just too muc...