Skip to main content

A little miracle

I knew when this happened to me that it wasn't going to be an easy thing to fix. I remember sitting in the physical therapists' office and she kept telling me my shoulder was dislocated and I had to go to the ER. After several trips to the ER because of this, I didn't feel like doing it anymore. This time though, it seemed a bit more serious. I couldn't feel my ring finger or my pinky finger. They were slowly curling into the palm of my hand and I had no idea what was happening to me. At the time, I never imagined I would lose use of that hand completely....but I did. It makes me sick to think back on it and remember that no one knew what was happening. They thought it was from my shoulder. The orthopedic doctor I was supposed to see at Leominster Hospital had to leave because he was adopting twins the next day so I ended up seeing someone else. No one there knew what to do with me. It was like I had some bizarre disease that no one had ever seen but they couldn't put a name with it. They told me I had to go back to Boston and see the shoulder surgeon. I cringed at the thought of that but made the appointment anyway.
Of course he was a jerk when we got there, what would ever make me think otherwise? He insisted it was in my head. As days passed, my fingers got stiffer and eventually every finger on my left hand was curled into a fist and I could only use my thumb. A year later, my wrist curled in. If it wasn't for the neurologist in Worcester, I would have never had an answer. He is by far the most wonderful doctor I have ever met. Not only is he my hero, but he is a very nice man, very personable and very determined to help me.
Back when this happened, I was weak and scared. I was a young girl that just wanted to have a normal life and eventually have children. When I lost use of my hand I never thought I'd be abl to take care of a baby. I went on with my life trying different medications, botox injections and therapy but nothing seemed to work. After having my baby girl, I became stronger and decided to go through with DBS and I am so glad I did. Just three and a half weeks after my first surgery and just two weeks after being "turned on", I opened my hand. With the help of my family and friends, the determination and hard work of my doctor, and the love and sweet smile on my little girl, I made it through the biggest, scariest times in my life. I couldn't have done this alone but because I did fight through it, I am so much stronger and I believe now I can accomplish anything. I have no hair and too many scars but I can now say, with the biggest smile on my face, that I can hold my precious Hailey's hand and teach her anything she needs me to with nothing holding me back.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Pineapple socks aren’t enough

I wake up in the morning, get my kids ready for school, make my husband and I a cup of coffee and take three small pills. When you look at them you’d never imagine what they could do to your body but right from the beginning I was willing to do it. No matter what it took, I would do it. Little did I know, these pills would just be another part of the sadness. I continue on my day, limiting caffeine, watching what I eat and gaining a pound a minute. Before bed, Jim injects more medication into my buttocks. These medications are supposed to be getting my body ready to have a baby but for some reason this small thing that I want so badly is so hard to achieve. Since the day I met Jim, we’ve wanted a baby. We’ve picked out names, first outfits, and ways we want to tell our parents the news. It’s been 4 years since we agreed we wanted to start trying and we still don’t have it. Just before Covid hit, we decided to see a fertility specialist to help us achieve pregnancy. We tracked my cyc
Post a Comment
Read more

update on Dystonia and Family

I have been doing as well as could be expected.  I am back in Florida so it's nice to be with Ryan.  Although I am still upset about the whole thing, I am trying hard to smile and not let it show.  The spasms have returned and have gotten worse since the DBS was removed.  When I suck on a piece of candy or ice, my throat tightens up.  It's very scary but Im hoping it won't get any worse.  My neck also twitches sometimes and my foot spasms have come back.  My hand is curled in but if I think about it, I can straighten my wrist (not my fingers).  The most upsetting part is that I was just looking at pictures of myself the day after DBS and I had a huge smile on my face because I had made it through and then a couple weeks later there was a picture of my hand open.  I had never been so excited as I was that day.  I had so much in my head that I wanted to do now that I could use my hand and most of it involved Hailey.  Hailey helped me get through the surgery and I was getting
13 comments
Read more

Pregnant With Dystonia

Well, hello there and welcome to my blog. These last couple months have been stressful, exciting, painful, happy and scary. I'm working on keeping these feelings positive! A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with Dystonia. My left hand has curled into a fist and I can no longer use my fingers. My wrist is permanantly stuck in a spasm and I now wear a brace 24/7. I get daily spasms in my feet and sometimes its hard to walk because I don't know when it is going to happen. I have muscle spasms in my back quite often and occassionally in my neck and jaw. On top of the dystonia, I have multi-directional instability in both of my shoulders, causing them to dislocate very frequently. In February, 2010 I took a home pregnancy test and it was positive! It was the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Although my boyfriend and I were a little nervous, we smiled and started to plan our life together with our baby that was on the way. Since then, I haven't been able
8 comments
Read more