Skip to main content

I Believe

I believe in kindness and helping people.  I believe that no matter what, you should smile at the person walking by you on the street even if they don't smile back.  I believe in sunsets and dancing in the rain.  I believe in finding the good in every situation even if it feels like your life is about to end.
The last year has been rough.  I've been through a lot and I'm still here, standing tall and proud.  I have fought through obstacles, stood strong for my children and changed my life in the matter of days.  There are a lot of things about life that are hard.  It's hard to smile when you find out your dad is in the hospital with pneumonia and the flu and will be intubated for 9 days.  It's hard to laugh when your son is going in for his 12th surgery in just a couple weeks, It's hard to stand tall when nothing around you feels right.  But, I have learned that sitting on the couch and crying and feeling sorry for myself will get me NOWHERE.  How will that help my son get better?  Will that get my dad healthy?  Will that find me a miracle so I'm not in pain 24/7?  Getting up and blasting the music in my car with my windows down and singing at the top of my lungs with my children to "accomp'ny me" is one of my favorite things to do when I'm feeling down.  My children have brought me to a place I never saw myself reaching.  I have started praying for miracles and happiness and my days are getting better. 
Last year when my dad got sick, it was the scariest thing I've ever been through.  We almost lost him.  I can't even imagine my life without him.  My parents are two of the most important people in my life, and my closest friends.  I thank god every day that he is alive and well.  He's going in tomorrow for an angioplasty but his spirits are high and when I heard his laugh tonight, I knew in my heart that every thing will be okay.  My mom is the strongest woman I know for going through that with him. 
I also believe that anything is possible, if you have the courage to make it happen.  This is something I am still working on but believe more every day.  I am working so hard to change my lifestyle.  The healthier I am, the better I will feel.  I want so badly to take classes and change my career to something that will help people and make life more enjoyable for others.  Life is short, you should be doing something you love every day.
I am ready to live the life I've always dreamed about. One day at a time, with my family and friends surrounding me with love and support... I will find a way.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When Pineapple socks aren’t enough

I wake up in the morning, get my kids ready for school, make my husband and I a cup of coffee and take three small pills. When you look at them you’d never imagine what they could do to your body but right from the beginning I was willing to do it. No matter what it took, I would do it. Little did I know, these pills would just be another part of the sadness. I continue on my day, limiting caffeine, watching what I eat and gaining a pound a minute. Before bed, Jim injects more medication into my buttocks. These medications are supposed to be getting my body ready to have a baby but for some reason this small thing that I want so badly is so hard to achieve. Since the day I met Jim, we’ve wanted a baby. We’ve picked out names, first outfits, and ways we want to tell our parents the news. It’s been 4 years since we agreed we wanted to start trying and we still don’t have it. Just before Covid hit, we decided to see a fertility specialist to help us achieve pregnancy. We tracked my cyc

update on Dystonia and Family

I have been doing as well as could be expected.  I am back in Florida so it's nice to be with Ryan.  Although I am still upset about the whole thing, I am trying hard to smile and not let it show.  The spasms have returned and have gotten worse since the DBS was removed.  When I suck on a piece of candy or ice, my throat tightens up.  It's very scary but Im hoping it won't get any worse.  My neck also twitches sometimes and my foot spasms have come back.  My hand is curled in but if I think about it, I can straighten my wrist (not my fingers).  The most upsetting part is that I was just looking at pictures of myself the day after DBS and I had a huge smile on my face because I had made it through and then a couple weeks later there was a picture of my hand open.  I had never been so excited as I was that day.  I had so much in my head that I wanted to do now that I could use my hand and most of it involved Hailey.  Hailey helped me get through the surgery and I was getting

Pregnant With Dystonia

Well, hello there and welcome to my blog. These last couple months have been stressful, exciting, painful, happy and scary. I'm working on keeping these feelings positive! A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with Dystonia. My left hand has curled into a fist and I can no longer use my fingers. My wrist is permanantly stuck in a spasm and I now wear a brace 24/7. I get daily spasms in my feet and sometimes its hard to walk because I don't know when it is going to happen. I have muscle spasms in my back quite often and occassionally in my neck and jaw. On top of the dystonia, I have multi-directional instability in both of my shoulders, causing them to dislocate very frequently. In February, 2010 I took a home pregnancy test and it was positive! It was the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Although my boyfriend and I were a little nervous, we smiled and started to plan our life together with our baby that was on the way. Since then, I haven't been able