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Before you judge me, make sure you’re perfect

I’m overweight. I’m not happy about the way I look but I’m happy with my life.  Since Covid has attacked and pretty much made everything impossible, I have had a hard time. It started with the homeschooling and all us of trying to adjust. Then being told Cody was doing summer school. He does school on zoom three times a week, speech on zoom three times a week and speech outside of the house twice a week. He hates the zoom meetings and sometimes struggles to sit through it. Hailey gets bored when he’s doing it. I can’t bring them anywhere because they need masks and they’re little and hate them and it’s hot. I don’t have time to go grocery shopping, I don’t have time or motivation to work out. My dystonia is getting worse by the day and I’m pretty much just a fat crippled mess. I’m trying to think positive but it’s especially hard when people are judging your every move. People I don’t even like so I don’t even know why I care. What makes you so perfect? Because your healthy and can work out without being in pain? Because your thin and fit? Well happiness means more to me than that and I am way happier now, even with Covid and bad dystonia days then I ever was before.


My left foot, my left hand and my back are a mess. My foot is turned in so far it feels like my ankle is going to snap and I can’t get a shoe on my foot. So, I’ve been wearing flip flops but it looks ridiculous. I had an adjustment made on my dbs about a month ago and go back in two weeks. Hopefully I can get some relief. She did Botox in my hand and this time might try it in my foot. 


Anyway, there’s good stuff too. Hailey has been so good lately and has been making bracelets and raising awareness for dystonia . I am so proud of her. She is almost 10 already and going into 4th grade. 


Cody is doing well too! We had a scare last week when his neck started swelling and he was pretty sick. We ended up in the ER but he perked up and they said it was just a virus. He’s doing very well in school and can’t wait to see his friends again. I’m so proud of how hard he has worked through all of this! 


Jim and I are super excited to get married next year! Because of Covid, we had to postpone until May but that’s ok with us, as long as the people we love are able to join us! Jim’s job is going great and I’m so proud of all his hard work! 


Life is good. I’m enjoying my time with my kids every day but some days have been hard. Mostly with grocery shopping, school at home and getting to doctors appointments.


I will be glad when this is over but for now we’re making the best of it! I’m done letting people bother me when they look me up and down and judge. I am who I am because of what I’ve gone through and there’s no one else I’d rather be! 

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