Swimming Against The Current

The last few days have been the worst days I've had in a long time.  I was very hopeful and positive that I was getting better until this whole infection.  I had an MRI on Monday and they couldn't finish it because my head felt weird when they turned in on so I ended up having another CT scan.  The CT scan showed that the infection had spread and the whole device had to come out.  Tuesday morning, they took it out.  I am devastated.  My hand is already curled in and my feet have already been acting up on me.  I just don't know what to do, I am back at square one and just want to go back to FL with Ryan.  I was so looking forward to going back there and being better.  When the infection is gone I am going back there and when we move back I will have the DBS put back in.  There is only one problem.  My surgeon is moving and will be working in NY so I will have to go there to have it put back in and I'm not sure if my insurance will wo...

On Tuesday I had a CT scan to rule out a blood clot in my brain because I have been having very bad headaches and dizziness.  There was no blood clot but there is swelling in there.  The doctors think the infection could have spread into the stimulator.  In cases like these, they usually remove the whole device.  I REALLY don't want them to do that.  Not only would I be upset because it has been helping me but I was planning on going back to FL the beginning of July and I really don't want to have another surgery.  They are waiting until Monday to do an MRI and go from there.  They said if I get any worse over the weekend I need to go to the ER but hopefully that won't happen.  Ryan's coming home tomorrow, my cousin is getting married Saturday and my nephews birthday party is Sunday! This weekend is a bad weekend to spend in the hospital!!

The IV is still in, and its still a pain in the butt. I started wearing an apron around the house so I could put the bottle of antibiotic in the pocket. I look a little foolish but I dont really care anymore!! My head looks much better then it did before they cleaned it out. I am so glad I called the doctor and got it all settled before the stimulator got infected. I am seeing an Infectious disease doctor tomorrow to make sure everything is all set and they just increased the dosage on my antibiotics so I hope it will be all over soon. I still have 3 1/2 weeks with it. I am hoping to go back to Florida after that so I can spend some time there with Ryan before we move back in September. My hand is still doing pretty good, my wrist is pretty much straight so I got rid of the hand brace!! It feels so good to have that off!!! My neck did get stuck once though and both feet have gotten stuck twice. I am a little nervous but I hope it doesn't keep happening. Hailey is doing g...

Well its been quite the ride here. Yesterday, I was planning on going home all day. Even though no doctor or anything came to see me until after 3pm, I was still hopeful. They kept telling me they were waiting for Infectious Disease to come tell me what antibiotics I have to go home with. I think he finally came just after 4:00 and said the infection wasn't that bad and I didn't need the picc line, just oral antibiotics. I was veery happy because now I could hold Hailey and get the hell out of here!! Once again, too good to be true. A few minutes later, the PA came in and said that the neurosurgery team didn't see eye to eye with Infectious disease and they still wanted me to have the picc line. They said I've come too far and they want to be aggressive and save this! I was happy with that because I feel I've come to far too and I do not want to start over!! So, anyway I didn't go home yesterday. They had to do some research to see what meds to send me ...

Everything was going great. I could finally see an end in sight. My hair was growing back into an awkward, yet longer stage and beginning to cover atleast one of my scars. My insicion on my chest was beginning to finally heal and my hand was beginning to open. I was the happiest girl in the world knowing I could open my hand after having it closed for 3 years. It felt like a miracle. I should of known this was too good to be true. Last weekend, I bumped my head on the hood over the stove after trying to plug my phone into the wall right next to it. Who knows how I did it but all last week the incision began getting ugly. Yesterday I decided to ask Jenn to take a look since she's an RN, I knew she could help me out. She squeezed it and said she really didn't like the looks of it and I should call the doctor. After calling my neurosurgeon, I found myself driving back to the hospital so they could take a look. My mom, Hailey and I walked into the ER, thinking we would b...

I knew when this happened to me that it wasn't going to be an easy thing to fix. I remember sitting in the physical therapists' office and she kept telling me my shoulder was dislocated and I had to go to the ER. After several trips to the ER because of this, I didn't feel like doing it anymore. This time though, it seemed a bit more serious. I couldn't feel my ring finger or my pinky finger. They were slowly curling into the palm of my hand and I had no idea what was happening to me. At the time, I never imagined I would lose use of that hand completely....but I did. It makes me sick to think back on it and remember that no one knew what was happening. They thought it was from my shoulder. The orthopedic doctor I was supposed to see at Leominster Hospital had to leave because he was adopting twins the next day so I ended up seeing someone else. No one there knew what to do with me. It was like I had some bizarre disease that no one had ever seen but they cou...

Today I had my third programming session. I am feeling pretty good. He turned it up quite a bit and I felt weird at first but my hand loosened up. Dr. Novak had his finger under my fingers and could feel when it got looser and tighter. He was pretty excited about it, as was I!! I might have to go back tomorrow or Friday, or both. I really think its going to work. Everytime I go, it makes me feel very energized and giggly. When he turns it way up I just want to crack up. Its kind of a bizarre feeling but I feel great. I also got my staples out today and the stitches out of my chest. The incision in my chest doesn;t look that great but they didn't seem concerned. Hopefully it clears up. Hailey is doing great. She is getting so big and trying so hard to crawl! I also think she's getting some teeth! She chew on everything and hasn't really been herself lately. Her and I are so excited to see Ryan on Friday. He's coming home for the weekened and we haven...